What is a funeral feast and what is the proper name
Funeral feast, “tryzna”, “kar”, and sometimes even “trachta” or “trachtace”. What it is? All these names mean the same thing – they refer to a farewell with food and drinks, following the actual ceremony. It is a token of good manners, gratitude for attending the funeral and at the same time an opportunity to reminisce about the deceased with the funeral guests and give the deceased the very last farewell. The feast can have different forms. In this article, you will acquaint yourself with the options for funeral feasts, we will advise you what not to forget and what is required by etiquette.
Organization and invitation to a funeral feast
Funeral feast is arranged by the bereaved. It may be done by the same person, who arranged the funeral, but it may also be a different member of the family. It is a good idea to divide responsibility and agree on the form of the feast. In case you are arranging a funeral feast, it is customary to attach an invitation to it to the obituary along with its time and place, so the guest would know where to come. Another option is that after the funeral ceremony, one of the bereaved stands up and invites invite the funeral guests to the feast. If you do not obtain any kind of invitation, it is not polite to go to the feast.
What form can the funeral feast take?
The form of the funeral feast depends on how much money and time you want to spend.
Short meet and greet/toast
The cheapest option is a short, small party, where only a few drinks are served (for example, wine) as well as some snacks (crisps, peanuts, savoury pastry). The goal of this meeting is to be with the guests for a while – for half an hour or an hour, to talk a little, and then go home. The best way is to arrange this meeting near the place of the place of the funeral or the ceremonial hall, so that it is possible to go there by foot.
Funeral lunch or dinner in a restaurant
This option is more expensive, but is also the most common. In this case, certain people are chosen (usually the closest family and friends) for a lunch into a restaurant. According to the number of people, it is necessary to arrange a table or a lounge. Again, you need to consider the distance to the restaurant, so that it would be close to the place of the funeral, or to arrange a transfer with the guests.
Toast and a speech: it is good to start the lunch with a short toast. Sometimes, this speech is called a funeral feast speech. Basically, the bereaved closest to the deceased, the one who arranged the funeral or the feast thanks the guests for attending with a few sentences. If the speaker wants to, they can reminisce about the deceased.
Menu: If there is a small number of guests and you sit at one table, you may choose from the everyday menu. If there is a larger number of guests, it is appropriate to choose one dish served to all, or to choose two dishes from which the guests will choose. You may choose the favourite dish of the deceased, something that expresses their personality, or choose a “universal” dish, which you would presume will satisfy everyone. It also depends on the number of guests and your budget if you wish to serve only the main course, or a soup and a desert as well.
Length of the funeral feast: As soon as the lunch is over, different situations may occur. Sometimes, it is appropriate to get up give your farewell to the family, and leave. Sometimes, coffee or wine is served after lunch. It is common for the lunch to take a few hours at maximum.
Funeral feast at home
In some families, it is common to host the funeral feast at home. For that, you will need a space big enough for the feast to take place. You may also choose a small farewell with a few of the closest ones. It all depends on your possibilities. In this case, most often the host (or them along with the closest relatives) arranges different kinds of snacks or a lunch. You may have a homecooked lunch or one prepared by catering company or a restaurant. In the invitation, you may also ask the funeral guests to bring something small to the feast. It is common that a meal is followed by a meet and greet, which can take a few hours or the whole evening.
Funeral feast differently
Nowadays, it is a favourite option to arrange the funeral feast at a non-traditional place, which was dear to the deceased. It can be their favourite bistro or a pub, a garden, a park, a theatre or some other place, where it would be comfortable for you to reminisce the deceased. Always agree on this with all the close relatives and friends and notify the guests beforehand, so they would not be too surprised with the unexpected form of the funeral feast
Etiquette and rules
The purpose of a funeral feast is to honour the memory of the deceased. The guests should not behave too loudly or merrily and obey what the bereaved want. The atmosphere on the feast is more relaxed than during the funeral ceremony, but the guests should always be nice and considerate. Try as well to respect the wishes and the mood of the bereaved and leave in the proper time.
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